i met an old professor today. he gently shook my hand and warmly smiled at my mom and told her how good i was as a student. he told her how well i wrote, that he still reads the article i passed during the last day of his class.

hours ago, i wasn’t quite sure what exactly i wrote, but i have heard that he had used some of it, maybe quoted some lines when he gave his retirement speech. and how i knew about it was through my sister who was working in laguna with his son. she sent me a text message saying, “val, hala mo gid. ano to ginsulat mo para kay sir quimba?“

my initial reaction was, “shit. what have i done?” he wasn’t exactly teaching the most interesting subject in the world. and i was worried about what i wrote, thinking that i might have been harsh or a bit too straight-forward. that i might have pushed the man to an early retirement or something to that effect.

and today, i managed to go through some old school files, and there it was. the two-paged piece i wrote “about the professor.”

————————————————

Valeen L. Solancho          enec5A          October 11, 2007

ES7 / Engineering Management

About The Professor

Life, they all say, is a learning process, and my whole life has been a stage for all kinds of teachers.  I have met those who prefer to spoonfeed their students, and I, too, am guilty of having enjoyed being spoonfed, of learning without thinking.  I have met those who prefer to grill their students, to throw them into fire with their smart, most difficult to answer questions, and I, too, had my share of burns, of learning the hard way.  I have met those who prefer to be a friend to their students, to establish that unusual bond with them, and I too, had the privilege of teacher friends, of learning with the teacher.  I have met other more too, but what I find weird is what keeps them wanting this teaching profession even when they get students who fail them, students who try their best to thwart their classes, students who don’t show up for the classes at all, students who seem to never learn.

I have always wondered why, and some of the questions about these contradicting terms of the teaching profession have been answered by Sir Quimba - “Daddy”, our then Safety Engineering now Engineering Management professor.

Earlier this semester, Sir Quimba starts the class off with the words: “My role is to open your minds and hearts to become a manager in the future.  And your part is to promise that when you become a manager, you won’t be slaves of money.”  For me, it sounded funny at first; too enigmatic that it appeared to be an exaggeration of something.  He continued with his classes through the three terms, each term consisting of group works, written discussions on management concepts and principles, short films, notebook checks, and graded recitations.  After all these, I must say, that a part of me might consider managing someday.  I mean it is as challenging as engineer field work and it sure pays a lot.  I think I’d rather be a manager than a teacher, not just because the former fattens any one’s bank account, but because being a manager is easier than being a teacher.  A manager’s work can be summed up using the word “manage”, while no word can best contain the work of a teacher, other than “hard.”

I have seen the hard work Sir Quimba has put through for the class.  And handling a bunch of fifth year students who are so restless and noisy, who complain a lot when given group work and assigned written discussions is no joke.  I have realized that a teacher, despite the blows each meeting gives and the pandemonium the students create, remains a teacher.  A manager after a series of problems and difficulties might turn into a hero, or a lunatic, worst, a devil.  A teacher, however, has that ability to humbly stay as a teacher whether it be success or failure of a student.  The teaching profession requires a lot from a teacher: there’s time, there’s tons and tons of patience, there’s creativity, there’s heart.  And what joy would it be for a teacher if a tiny hint of hope is shown by a single student.  All of Sir’s students might have shown hope during their days, for he has been doing this noble job for decades probably.  It is hope that keeps a teacher a teacher.

Sir, I’d like to personally thank you for that day when you dismissed the class earlier because I wasn’t feeling well and was soon getting fever.  I have met a lot of teachers since I had this life, but no teacher has shown that kind of kindness and consideration you’ve shown me.  Thank you.  I’d forever be thankful having met you.

————————————————

i guess he liked it. ^_^

그댄 너무 당연한듯 오늘 내게 안부를 묻네요 난 그저 잘 지낸다했죠 그댄 정말 날 너무 모르죠 그대없이 또 내가 괜찮을 것 같나요 그대는 나 없이 괜찮나요 당신없는 세상이 너무도 힘들어서 숨쉬는 나를 원망했죠

어떡하죠 아직도 난 그대 한마디에 부서지는 하루를 살아요 그대 내게 말 해봐요 이러는게 자꾸 우는지 그대 또 나처럼 하루가 아프고 또 아픈지 말해봐요 그대와 나

이미 너무 늦었나요 우리 다시 기회는 없나요 아직 그댈 생각해요 그댄 아마 알지도  르죠 결국 이런건가요 이렇게 끝인가요 그대만 이대로 괜찮나요 난 안될 것 같은데 그 같은 사랑을 죽어도 내겐 없을 텐데

어떡하죠 내 마음은 그대 아니면 누구도 안아줄수 없을텐데 제발 나를 잡아줘요
알잖아요 단 한사람 아무리 애써도 그대를 지울수가 없단걸 제발 나를 잡아줘요

어떡하죠 아직도 난 그대 한마디에 부서지는 하루를 살아요 그대 내게 말해봐요 이러는게 자꾸 우는지 그대도 나처럼 하루가 아프고 또 아픈지 말해봐요 그대와 나

이미 너무 늦었나요
우리 다시 기회는 없나요
아직 그댈 생각해요
그댄 아마 알지도 모르죠

♥ ♥ ♥

zzz. there. right. -_-

• ten things you wish you could say to ten different people right now (don’t tell us who they are):

1. lost and insecure, You found me.
2. should i give up or should i just keep chasing pavements even if it leads nowhere?
3. i don’t know you but i want you all the more for that.
4. let’s close this chapter, and say one last prayer.
5. i wish i could save you (expletives).
6. boys will be boys.
7. i’m gonna try with a little help from my friends. yes, i’d get by with a little help from my friends.
8. i’d take a shot for you.
9. listen close, the monuments are whispering your name.
10. i just wanna be homecoming queen, be a poster dream, not one of the boys.

• nine things about yourself (very random):

1. i like refrigerators.
2. i can finish a whole watermelon.
3. i believe in “to each his own.”
4. i like to sit with my dogs.
5. my email address is not after a glam-rock fad or some fetishism. it was inspired by wolverine.
6. i easily get homesick.
7. i hate losing things.
8. i am not that boring.
9. i have a growing thing for history.

• eight ways to win your heart:

1. over-the-phone good morning serenade ala choi han kyul.
2. sukob na when it rains.
3. old-fashioned love letters, minus the perfume please.
4. chu-chu bars when i’m depressed.
5. piggyback ride when my feet hurt.
6. tell me the books you read, not just the games you play.
7. know my favorite flower, even though i’m allergic to them.
8. take time to know my folks, my sibs, my girlfriends, and my dogs.

• seven things that cross your mind a lot:

1. when will the books come to the philippines.
2. what other options do i have aside from this.
3. what to do in case i snap.
4. what is inside the fridge.
5. when will i see my friends again.
6. what to do with my next pay slip.
7. when will prince charming pay a visit.

• six little stupid things you want to happen to you before you die:

1. get a tattoo.
2. be in a reality show.
3. ride a yellow cab.
4. fly to the moon.
5. kiss a famous guy.
6. solve a very complicated math problem.

• five turn offs:

1. mr. know-it-all.
2. intolerable body odor.
3. cavalier smoker.
4. trash talker.
5. taken.

• four turn ons:

1. has read pride and prejudice and doesn’t think it’s chick lit.
2. long fingers, clean fingernails. if they’re not that clean, they should at least look like a musician’s fingers, dirty but sexy.
3. good sense of humor; by that i mean, smart and not overrated.
4. taken.

• three smilies that describe your self:

1. XD
2. ^+++^
3. O_o

• two things you wish you never did:

1. cry over men. X_X
2. believe i cannot do things.

• one confession:

1. i have a boyfriend. it’s just that he doesn’t know it yet.

~ a meme from pards

i’m not a miley cyrus fan, but i have just the set of seven things for this particular someone i chanced upon one afternoon in my boring storybook life. i won’t call it a romantic eureka. it was probably the fact that, when one stands amidst greying walls and one wears blue, a generally faint color compared to red which is the winning wavelength, one would still be blindingly noticeable. add the other fact that one decides to remove his blue t-shirt and deliver good news in broad daylight. a most unlikely miss, if you ask me.

so it began with blue. and it happened almost a year ago, but i still cannot forget the darned details. weird thing is i seem to have that power to go slo-mo or zoom in on my memories. amazing.

the seven things i hated about you:

1. your voice. its tone and its annoyingly disturbing shriek. i remember hearing you call my name even when i am some nautical miles away. like you had it set on repeat, and it is the only song in the playlist.
2. your black t-shirt and your winnie the pooh towel. no, emo is not cute. and your towel needs to be washed.
3. how you tagged me as a popular brand of mayonnaise. i still don’t get it. and whenever we do the groceries and reach that isle for spreads and cheeses, i remember you.
4. how you changed from one person to another, depending on floor levels. like the stairs acted as a state line. and they say women are harder to figure out.
5. how you made me buy coke almost every other night just so i could stand and secretly watch you from a strategic spot, which was the tiangge downstairs. not only was it very old-fashioned, it was also very addicting. coke plus you, what a combo.
6. the fact that you liked her and not me. boy, it sucked big time.
7. and the seventh thing i hated the most that you did, you made me likey-like you. you held me back without even trying to.

and compared to all the great things that would take too long to write, i probably should mention the seven that i liked:

1. your blue t-shirt. reminds me of that afternoon.
2. how you took it off and how you took most of your shirts off. no, i’m not perverted. i am merely admiring the mechanics of the act itself. it was derangingly cool. so cool, i almost drooled.
3. your watermelon smile. of all the shapes in the world, yours was that of a fruit. my favorite, to be exact.
4. your hair. whichever way you cut it, i simply adore.
5. how you asked the lamest of questions to which i had the lamest of answers. you stupefied me. i only get that when someone startles me in english and when i am in front of someone i like.
6. your back towards me. i was romeo and you were my juliet.
7. and the seventh thing i liked the most that you did, you made me likey-like you. you held me back without even trying to.

i think i actually miss him. funny.

april 21, 753 bc, remus and romulus founded rome.

april 21, 1816, charlotte bronte, author of jane eyre, is born.

april 21, 1828, noah webster publishes the first american dictionary.

april 21, 1910, mark twain dies at the age of 74.

april 21, 1947, rockstar iggy pop is born.

april 21, 1956, elvis presley’s first hit record, “heartbreak hotel,” becomes #1.

april 21, 1963, the beatles meet the rolling stones for the first time.

april 21, 1966, the rastafari movement’s grounation day is declared.

april 21, 1970, glen hansard, hot irish songwriter and actor, is born.

april 21, 1972, john young and charles duke, apollo 16, explores the moon.

april 21, 1979, scottish heartthrob james mcavoy meets the earth.

april 21, 1984, after 37 weeks, “thriller” is knocked off as top album by “footloose.”

april 21, 1986, mardave grace diamante gochuico says hello to humanity.

april 21, 1994, the first discoveries of the extrasolar planets are announced.

april 21, 1996, chicago bulls win nba record, 72 games (72-8).

april 21, 1997, diosdado macapagal dies.

april 21, 2005, invano begins writing.

april 21, 2006, invano keeps up.

april 21, 2007, invano struggles in her second year.

april 21, 2008, invano celebrates her third birthday.

april 21, 2009, invano turns four.

i promised myself a pep talk today. so here goes.

it is normal to panic. introduce me to someone who hasn’t had a single anxiety attack his or her whole life, then maybe i’d believe otherwise. yes, it is normal. it is actually a good sign; it only means  that you don’t have to worry about cerebral inactivity because your brain is pretty much juiced up to begin with. the thing there is, eventhough it is normal, you should get over it asap. do not let it linger. snap your fingers, if you must, to break the trance. suck in endorphins. think of quicksand.

after you’ve calmed down, lock the doors, set booby traps, write a death note to whoever it may concern so logic won’t have the option to ditch you. look logic in the eye and remind him that you are the boss, and the boss demands an overtime. logic stays. you are in charge.

that settled, go on and do what you have to do.

and if in case, you still end up the major loser and reverberations of stupidity circle your ears, and believe me, they might be very loud, remember to charge the whole thing to experience and make a mental note not to do the same shit again. and again, continue to love thy self.

aja.

it hasn’t been that long since i was last called a teenager. i recognize the pressure. i know the perks. i see where all that angst is coming from. but what i do not understand is why i cannot understand my sister.

just had a major fight with mc — yelling and holding back can be very painful, i discovered. we fought a lot before, and believe me when i say “a lot.” but the issues were a lot trivial; it was just me power tripping and being the evil sister. i can honestly say that i was mean and selfish, that i took certain liberties to an extreme extent. but i have changed. i actually tried to be better. i have been better, for crying out loud.

and it’s unfair that after all that, i’d still and always be the bad guy. that “i mean well” would always be “she’s too much.”

i refuse to believe that it’s a teenager thing. i mean, she practically has everything (but of course! she doesn’t know that!). why do kids have to hate everything? and to think that all i asked of her was to empty the friggin grocery bag.

we’re two very different persons, with very similar reactions to stress. and it scares me that she’s different in the first place.

i remember geowi saying that i’m his sister, not his friend. that your siblings cannot be your friends at the same time. he suffers from twisted logic, i know. but he got me thinking alright.

hey there delilah
what’s it like in new york city?
i’m a thousand miles away
but girl, tonight you look so pretty
yes, you do
times square can’t shine as bright as you
i swear it’s true

hey there delilah
don’t you worry about the distance
i’m right there if you get lonely
give this song another listen
close your eyes
listen to my voice, it’s my disguise
i’m by your side

oh it’s what you do to me
oh it’s what you do to me
oh it’s what you do to me
oh it’s what you do to me
what you do to me

hey there delilah
i know times are getting hard
but just believe me, girl
someday i’ll pay the bills with this guitar
we’ll have it good
we’ll have the life we knew we would
my word is good

hey there delilah
i’ve got so much left to say
if every simple song i wrote to you
would take your breath away
i’d write it all
even more in love with me you’d fall
we’d have it all

oh it’s what you do to me
oh it’s what you do to me
oh it’s what you do to me
oh it’s what you do to me

a thousand miles seems pretty far
but they’ve got planes and trains and cars
i’d walk to you if i had no other way
our friends would all make fun of us
and we’ll just laugh along because we know
that none of them have felt this way
delilah i can promise you
that by the time we get through
the world will never ever be the same
and you’re to blame

hey there delilah
you be good and don’t you miss me
two more years and you’ll be done with school
and i’ll be making history like i do
you’ll know it’s all because of you
we can do whatever we want to
hey there delilah here’s to you
this one’s for you

an lss. i haven’t paid much attention to this song. i guess when i heard it first, the plain white t’s weren’t exactly my type of musicians (or men. they still aren’t, btw), and their arrangement made it easier for me to just sing along and not think of anything else. just sing along when the only lyrics i knew were “hey there delilah.”

but after listening to ju’not, an ai top 36 finalist, and his version of the song, where he turned it from rock to rnb, i actually liked it. a lot. totally fell in love with it.

i wish i were somebody’s delilah.